Let me be the annoying little optimist I am
I’m not forcing you to be one as well but you have no business raining on my parade.
I’m pretty sure people (who in all probability genuinely do not care about me) have reached their saturation point with me rambling on and on about everything I’ve been through and how it continues to affect me till date — positively and (at times) negatively too.
I might be that annoying optimist now for a lot of people but that’s not my concern. All that matters to me is that my journey and my story is important.
All that matters to me is that my journey and my story is important.
Only I know what I’ve been through and I have all the right to talk about it for another few hundred years, because yes, I plan on living that long.
I tend to see the good in things and people, almost always and naturally too. Needless to say, I suffer because of it — at times. But then again, who isn’t suffering?
We’ve all got our own battles going on, big or small. What matters is how we’re getting through them, how we’re fighting every second, that’s of pertinence.
I could never invalidate anyone’s personal battles now. I could’ve done that a few years ago but not anymore. I’m too perceptive and sensitive to everything now — and all in good faith. I learn more than I suffer now.
I learn more than I suffer now.
The little things always mattered to me. Even before my illness, I was always finding bits of happiness wherever I went. My will to live back then wasn’t as strong as it is now, I was more of a pessimist than I was an optimist but I was surviving.
Now, I am living — thriving, even. I have my bad days and I have my lows but I pick myself up and I ride those waves of nervousness or sadness, whatever they maybe without any apprehensions about what’s to follow.
Because I’ve realised that living in constant anxiety of the future didn’t get me anywhere. It just made me a nervous wreck — it ruined me. So I’ve learned to live in the present, at least I try to. It’s not the easiest thing to unlearn something you consciously conditioned your mind to do over the years but it’s a process, one that I’m working on.
I’m an optimist — a pathetic one, yes, but also a realistic one at that. I don’t pretend to be happy when I’m not but I sure as hell don’t dwell on my negativity and make it a way of life.
To each their own but I’ve found what works for me, and it’s a relentlessly realistic optimism that pushes, inspires, and teaches me everything I need to know about everything. Because at the end of the day, life may be a bitch but it’s my bitch.
Life may be a bitch but it’s my bitch.
You can follow me on my twitter where I barely tweet because of sheer procrastination, laziness, and well, being busy living.